How To Stop Feeling Guilty When Getting Rid of Clutter
February 21, 2023 9:00 AM EST | 6 min read
After moving 10 times in 11 years, getting rid of clutter became a way of life for our family.
Feeling guilty about throwing things away wasn’t an option because we needed to move with less stuff.
So, we found ways to cope.
Here are some tips to make it easier to purge without feeling guilty:
- figure out what makes you feel guilty
- remind yourself why you want to get rid of clutter
- come up with a system for decluttering
Figure Out Why Getting Rid of Clutter Makes You Feel Guilty
First, you need to figure out exactly why you feel guilty about getting rid of clutter.
Do you feel guilty because you spent money on these things?
If your guilt is a financial issue, determine how much it costs to use the item.
Think of it as your rental price.
Let’s say you bought a purse for $100.
Consider how many times you used the purse.
If you answered every day for three months, it cost you about $1 per day.
If you used it even longer, the cost per day goes down.
Spending $0.27 a day for a year seems like a great rental price for something that brought you joy.
Realize that if you no longer use the purse, you are not making money by simply keeping it.
However, you can make money by de-cluttering.
Your options are to: (1) sell the item or (2) donate it to charity and receive a tax deduction.
Check out the valuation guide from Salvation Army or Goodwill to see how much money you could save come tax time.
Just remember to keep an itemized list of everything you donate.
Do you feel guilty because it was a gift?
If you’re concerned about de-cluttering because an item was a gift, consider why that person gave it to you.
Did you get it for your birthday or as a hostess gift?
Did your friend or family expect you to hold on to it for eternity?
Probably not.
Recognize that your friend wanted you to get enjoyment out of the gift when you received it.
Once you’re finished using the gift, it’s okay to let it go.
If it’s too difficult for you to sell or donate the item, then focus on purging other things first.
You have plenty of other items in your home to get through.
Don’t worry about this one yet.
Do you feel guilty because it’s someone else’s stuff?
If you’re feeling guilty about throwing away someone else’s stuff, there’s a reason for that.
It’s not necessarily your stuff to give.
For example: even when my kids were toddlers, I felt guilty about donating their toys.
So, I got them involved in the process from an early age.
Yes, it was hard initially, especially as we moved so often.
But later, they appreciated getting rid of clutter.
After doing it so many times, the kids know they’ll be happier with a cleaner space where it’s easier to find their favorite toys.
They also appreciate that they can make some money selling unwanted toys and that other kids will enjoy their stuff that has been gathering dust in a toy bin.
However, let’s say that your kids have moved out of the house, yet it seems their stuff is there to stay.
That’s unfair to you, if you want to reclaim the space.
Give your kids a reasonable timeframe by which they need to pick up their things.
Remind them about the financial incentives to de-cluttering.
If the kids don’t take their stuff, offer to put their things in a storage facility where they can pay a monthly fee.
Do you feel guilty because it’s an irreplaceable item?
If you don’t want to throw something away because it evokes happy memories or because it’s irreplaceable, determine whether a picture of the item would suffice.
If not, hold on to it.
For those items that are too difficult to deal with, focus on the easier ones when you are purging.
How To Make Getting Rid of Clutter Easier for Everyone
Knowing you should do something doesn’t mean it is necessarily an easy task.
Here are a few tips to make getting rid of clutter a little less stressful.
1. Remind yourself why you’re de-cluttering.
You may do this because you want a cleaner, more organized home.
Maybe you’re downsizing or moving and need to move with less stuff.
Perhaps you know you have countless items you haven’t used in years.
Maybe, you just want upgrade your home or furniture.
Why not sell some items so you can incorporate new things into your house?
Or possibly donate to make your items useful again for someone else?
Whatever your reason for getting rid of clutter, keep that goal in mind when you’re feeling guilty or overwhelmed.
Focus on your objective throughout the de-cluttering process.
Throwing stuff away to achieve your goal will be well worth your time.
2. Focus on one category at a time.
Getting rid of clutter can feel overwhelming, so make it easy.
Focus on one category at a time.
I typically begin with books or clothes, depending on whether a move is imminent (if I’m moving, I go with books because they’re heavy and expensive to move).
Once you have chosen, gather everything from your house in that category.
For example, start with coats and jackets.
Take every single one you own from each corner of your house and lay them all out in your bedroom.
You want to be able to see each item.
Once you see just how many things you have in that group, you realize you do not need that many.
Keep your favorites and sell – or donate – the rest.
3. Decide what to keep, not what to throw away.
For years, I asked my kids if they wanted to throw away certain toys.
Well, no, of course they didn’t want to!
Then I rephrased it.
I asked them what they wanted to keep.
I displayed all of their toys like in a toy store, with sections for puzzles, dolls, and cars.
They went “shopping” with sticky notes where they could keep everything that they wanted.
Surprisingly, they did not pick every single item.
In fact, there were many things they didn’t choose.
The kids were happy to donate the toys they hadn’t chosen, because they had already decided what they wanted.
Getting rid of clutter doesn’t need to feel like a chore.
Keep these handy tips in mind, and you can de-clutter with ease without the burden of guilt.
Do you have any other tips for eliminating clutter to share with us?
Leave your thoughts in the comment section below.
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Danielle Winacott
September 16, 2019 at 2:15 AM
Surprisingly the sticky note trick works for adults too! If you’re like me and feel guilty when you throw anything away or even when you donate it, picking what you want over what to get rid of with notes helps! Thank you!