Hilarious Andy Bernard Quotes

These Andy Bernard quotes will have you laughing before you finish them!

Andy Bernard is a hilarious fictional character in the comedic series The Office.

Played to perfection by Ed Helms, Andy Bernard never fails to leave us laughing.

The character is part of the series from season three through season nine.

Andy is a salesman that works his way up to branch manager and ends up as a salesman before finally leaving the company.

Throughout the series, we see Andy’s idiosyncrasies and annoying habits, which will leave you laughing.

Enjoy these Andy Bernard quotes for some good laughs.

If you enjoy this article, check out our collection of hilarious Robert California quotes.

Snarky Andy Bernard quotes

Andy Bernard was insecure and very defensive, which comes out in the quotes below.

1. “The fire is shooting at us!” ― Andy Bernard

2. “Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.” ― Andy Bernard

3. “I’m the Nard-Dog. The Nard-Man is my father.” ― Andy Bernard

4. “William Doolittle at your service. A.K.A. Will Do.” ― Andy Bernard

5. “Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding.” ― Andy Bernard

6. “You should be an English professor at Cor-not University.” ― Andy Bernard

7. “There are two things I am passionate about: recycling and revenge.” ― Andy Bernard

8. “I’m always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.” ― Andy Bernard

9. “I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.” ― Andy Bernard

10. “Yeah so life gives you lemons and you just have to eat them rinds and all.” ― Andy Bernard

Unforgettable Andy Bernard quotes

If you have watched The Office, you will recognize these quotes, and if you haven’t seen the show, these quotes will make you want to watch the show!

11. “Good luck over there, Tuna. Cross me, and I will destroy you.” ― Andy Bernard

12. “I’m not Rumpelstiltskin, Jim. I can’t keep spinning gold out of your shit!” ― Andy Bernard

13. “What I wouldn’t give for one of Phyllis’s classic room clearing farts right now.” ― Andy Bernard

14. “Andrew Bernard doesn’t lose contests, he wins them… or he quits them for being unfair.” – Andy Bernard

15. “It’s gotta rhyme with “piece.” Fancy Feast! Break me off a piece of that Fancy Feast!” ― Andy Bernard

16. “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you actually left them.” ― Andy Bernard

17. “How do I find out if a girl is interested? Great question. I usually just assume that they’re not.” ― Andy Bernard

18. “If I had to put Dwight’s chances into a percentage, I would say he has none percent chance.” ― Andy Bernard

19. “Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It’s so powerful, even a lot of men can’t resist a man singing show tunes.” ― Andy Bernard

20. “I’ll be the number two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.” ― Andy Bernard

Andy Bernard always leaves you laughing

Andy Bernard was a great character in a large cast of great characters.

You could always enjoy Andy for his quick wit and over-the-top actions.

We hope you will brighten the day of your family and friends by sharing these Andy Bernard quotes and lines with them.

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