George Carlin Quotes To Make You Laugh, Then Think
March 15, 2023 5:00 AM EST
The world loved him for the way he could find humor in almost anything, and these George Carlin quotes about life and politics will make you think.
Ready for a laugh?
You’re in the right place!
According to a study conducted by the University of Maryland, laughter can actually improve cardiovascular health and increase blood flow by 22%.
This finding emphasizes the importance of engaging with humorous content, like George Carlin’s quotes, to foster both mental and physical well-being.
There are few who are as influential as the great George Carlin.
What he has contributed to American culture, and humanity itself, goes beyond any earthly limitations.
Although his work of dark humor sparked controversy, Carlin presented witty and thought-provoking perspectives on our society that continue to echo throughout the world.
A true light like Carlin’s is never snuffed.
It survived through satirical words and the craftsmanship of evoking laughter, while sharing his wisdom with those around him.
These George Carlin quotes embody his infectious personality and whimsical outlook, offering a much needed dose of laughter, irony, and reassurance in this crazy and disorderly life.
Also check out our collection of Dave Chappelle quotes and sayings that are hilarious and insightful.
If you like this article, we suggest you explore our most popular quotes article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily encouragement.
Look through our complete collection of inspirational quotes here.
Funny George Carlin quotes about life and love
In a research study led by Dr. Peter Derks, a psychology professor at the College of William & Mary, it was found that humor can enhance creative problem-solving abilities.
By reading George Carlin’s thought-provoking quotes, readers may experience a boost in their creativity and cognitive flexibility.
1. “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes about the planet is fine. The people are fucked](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-1.jpg)
2. “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” – George Carlin
![Unique george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-2.jpg)
Make sure to check out our collection of pet quotes that celebrate our animal loved ones.
3. “Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.” – George Carlin
![Best george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-3.jpg)
You will also enjoy our article on Nike quotes.
4. “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.” – George Carlin
![Other george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-4.jpg)
5. “Electricity is really just organized lightning.” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes about electricity is really just organized lightning](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-5.jpg)
6. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” – George Carlin
![Wise george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-6.jpg)
7. “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes about fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-7.jpg)
8. “Just ‘cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean that the circus has left town.” – George Carlin
![Short george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-8.jpg)
9. “If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re going to have selfish, ignorant leaders.” – George Carlin
![Positive george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-9.jpg)
10. “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” – George Carlin
![Inspirational george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-10.jpg)
You will also enjoy our article on funny inspirational quotes.
The best George Carlin quotes for a good laugh
A 2020 study from the Pew Research Center revealed that 64% of Americans believe humor plays a crucial role in helping them cope with the stress of life.
Delving into George Carlin’s witty and thought-provoking quotes can provide readers with a much-needed reprieve from the challenges of everyday life.
11. “Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.” – George Carlin
![The best George Carlin quotes for a good laugh](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-11.jpg)
12. “Conservatives say if you don’t give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they’ve lost all incentive because we’ve given them too much money.” – George Carlin
![Favorite george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-12.jpg)
13. “Don’t just teach your children to read…teach them to question everything that they read…teach them to question everything.” – George Carlin
![Amazing george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-13.jpg)
14. “We’ve added years to life, not life to years.” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes about we’ve added years to life, not life to years](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-14.jpg)
15. “Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.” – George Carlin
![Random george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-15.jpg)
16. “Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.” – George Carlin
![Top george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-16.jpg)
17. “In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes for Instagram](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-17.jpg)
18. “When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts.” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes to inspire you](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-18.jpg)
19. “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes to helping others](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-19.jpg)
20. “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes about if you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-20.jpg)
Remember to also check out our collection of hilarious Talladega Nights quotes.
Quotes from George Carlin about politics and work
21. “I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.” – George Carlin
![Quotes from George Carlin about politics and work](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-21.jpg)
22. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit.” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes that will encourage you](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-22.jpg)
23. “Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes to motivate you](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-23.jpg)
24. “We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.” – George Carlin
![george carlin quotes and sayings](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-24.jpg)
25. “There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.” – George Carlin
![Meaningful george carlin quotes](https://everydaypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/george-carlin-quotes-25.jpg)
Don’t forget to also read these hilarious Rodney Dangerfield quotes.
Which of these George Carlin quotes made you smile?
Everyone is allowed to take a moment and laugh at life’s varying complications.
We need those chances to let loose, find our grounding, and flush out our trivial worries.
Let the words of George Carlin inspire you to live a life full of love, courage, and happiness.
Use these excerpts as a reminder not to take things so seriously.
The next time you find yourself needing an escape from reality, read these George Carlin quotes and chuckle to yourself, knowing everything is going to be okay.
naces
March 13, 2022 at 4:34 PM
He didn’t believe in imaginary friends.
Gurt
July 9, 2020 at 2:20 PM
My Personal favourite is “Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.”
George made you feel both good and bad about yourself but had you laughing all the while
MICHAEL ALAN STOOP
May 5, 2020 at 3:36 PM
can you imagine if george, bill hicks, robin and richard pryor were alive in the trump administration? unlimited material for years! and man do we need them now.
John
October 8, 2019 at 4:22 PM
“Things you don’t want to hear; I’m Pregnant you’re the father and I’m going to kill all 3 of us!”
Doug Reichert
September 27, 2019 at 6:51 PM
Saw George 4 times. The last being in April 2008. He died 2 months later. I also have a picture of he and i at the book signing of “Brain Droppings” He was good enough to sign my book and ALL of my vinyl albums that i brought too. I’ll cherish that forever
Chris bartlett
July 19, 2019 at 1:07 PM
Quite a few of these are not George Carlin you really need to check your sources
Ari JR
June 17, 2019 at 10:23 AM
#3 is misattributed, that’s much too “feel good” to have been anything Carlin would have said!
Nel
May 7, 2019 at 6:15 AM
The best of the best he was and is.
Patricia Bleasdale
March 9, 2019 at 11:02 AM
Love his humour and humanity
Arthienyer
July 19, 2018 at 4:06 PM
Thanks Jeff. I remember the great humor and intellect of George Carlin. He is sorely missed.
My favorite quote is: 47.) “I often warn people: ‘Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, ‘There is no ‘I’ in team.’ What you should tell them is, ‘Maybe not. But there is an ‘I’ in independence, individuality, and integrity.” – George Carlin
Everyday is a miracle!
Koech Emmanuel
June 26, 2018 at 12:21 PM
Am Inspired and motivated, thanks and may God bles you.