Erma Bombeck Quotes About Life, Marriage and God

If you’re in search of something to lift you up while making you smile, these Erma Bombeck quotes are perfect for you.

The late humorist was known as “the woman who made the world laugh” and it’s easy to see why after reading these Erma Bombeck quotes we have for you.

Don’t forget to also read these beautiful Mary Oliver quotes to live by.

If you love this quote collection, read out our most popular quote article about short inspirational quotes for daily motivation. 

If you need more inspirational quotes, check out our motivational quotes category page.

Inspirational Erma Bombeck Quotes

In a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, 61% of respondents claimed that reading inspirational quotes made them feel more positive about their lives.

This indicates that Erma Bombeck’s quotes, which focus on life, marriage, and God, can contribute to an overall sense of well-being.

1. “I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.” – Erma Bombeck

You will also enjoy our article on wedding quotes.

2. “Housework can kill you if done right.” – Erma Bombeck

You will also enjoy our article on marriage quotes.

3. “He who laughs … Lasts.” – Erma Bombeck

4. “Never have more children than you have car windows.” – Erma Bombeck

5. “Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.” – Erma Bombeck

6. “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” – Erma Bombeck

7. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” – Erma Bombeck

8. “Never accept a drink from a urologist.” – Erma Bombeck

9. “Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It’s literary suicide.” – Erma Bombeck

10. “It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.” – Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck quotes about life

Research by Dr. Barbara Fredrickson from the University of North Carolina has demonstrated that positive emotions can broaden people’s perspectives and build their personal resources.

By incorporating Erma Bombeck’s uplifting quotes into their daily routines, readers may experience an increased sense of positivity and personal growth.

11. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” – Erma Bombeck

12. “My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?” – Erma Bombeck

13. “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.” – Erma Bombeck

14. “Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?” – Erma Bombeck

15. “Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” – Erma Bombeck

16. “There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.” – Erma Bombeck

17. “There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.” – Erma Bombeck

18. “Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.” – Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck quotes about love

A study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that engaging with humor can reduce stress and improve overall happiness.

As Erma Bombeck’s quotes are known for their wit and humor, readers may benefit from reduced stress levels and increased happiness by delving into her work.

19. “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” – Erma Bombeck

20. “The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.” – Erma Bombeck

21. “When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.” – Erma Bombeck

22. “Men who have a thirty-six-televised-football-games-a-week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated.” – Erma Bombeck

Also, read these David Bowie quotes that will inspire you to live a life that is anything but boring.

Erma Bombeck quotes about fear

23. “All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.” – Erma Bombeck

24. “You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren’t dying. They’re merging into big conglomerates.” – Erma Bombeck

25. “Raising a family wasn’t something I put on my resumé, but I have to ask myself, would I apply for the same job again?” – Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes To Give Your Courage

26. “Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.” — Erma Bombeck

27. “My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.” — Erma Bombeck

28. “Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.” — Erma Bombeck

29. “It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.” — Erma Bombeck

30. “Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.” — Erma Bombeck

31. “Success is outliving your failures.” — Erma Bombeck

32. “It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.” — Erma Bombeck

33. “When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.” — Erma Bombeck

34. “Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.” — Erma Bombeck

35. “Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.” — Erma Bombeck

Which  Erma Bombeck quotes were your favorite?